


The First

by thegreenery



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Anxceitmus, Anxious Gays, Established relationship: Anxceit, Human AU, Kissing, M/M, Not Beta Read, Remus just wants smooch, Slight Self-Deprecation, cursing, or senior year of high school, probably college, this is just a makeout fic deadass
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-14
Updated: 2020-03-14
Packaged: 2021-03-01 00:48:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,335
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23136433
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thegreenery/pseuds/thegreenery
Summary: Remus loves his best friends, Virgil and Dee. Platonically, of course. Right?This was based off a Discord convo between me and a few others. I absolutely love this dynamic, let me tell you. Anxceitmus is very very good.
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil Sanders/Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders/Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders/Deceit Sanders, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders/Deceit Sanders, Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders/Deceit Sanders
Comments: 43
Kudos: 316





	The First

**Author's Note:**

> Warnings: sympathetic Remus and Deceit, minor embarrassment, kissing!!, cursing, slight self-deprecation, misunderstanding

Remus dares not glance up from his phone. In his periphery, he can see his two best friends tangled up on the other side of the couch together. Their shapes barely move, pressed so close against each other that Dee’s yellow-and-black sweater fades smoothly into Virgil’s signature purple patched hoodie. Remus can’t stifle the warm burst of pride in his chest upon seeing that hoodie; he can clearly remember the day Virgil asked him to repair his old black one. Remus smiles softly down at his phone, but his mouth drops into a frown when the sound of a quiet, soft moan reaches his ears. Remus glances up.

Dee’s long, thin fingers are currently scratching lightly up Virgil’s back underneath his lavender t-shirt. Virgil has his arms wrapped around Dee’s neck and his legs around his waist, their chests flush with Virgil in Dee’s lap. Their lips are connected, bruised and bitten as they kiss passionately. Remus swallows, his jaw clenched. Virgil pulls back - barely - for a breath and his half-lidded, deep brown eyes meet Remus’. Quickly, Remus glances back to his phone, but he knows it’s too late. His stomach twists. Would his friends think him weird for staring? It’s not like they haven’t made out in front of him before; this is nothing new. Still, he’s never watched them before now. At least, not that they knew of...Remus curses the bright red flush growing across his cheeks.

Then, in a silent instant, Virgil is in front of him.

Remus yelps and jumps back, startled. “V!” He laughs breathlessly, green eyes wide. “You fuckin’ teleported or some shit.”

Virgil raises an eyebrow and scoots back an inch to give Remus some room. “Nah, you just didn’t notice me, dumbass.” He bites the corner of his already-wrecked bottom lip and the sight has Remus’ pulse racing. “You ok?”

Remus nods. “Yea! Yea. Of course! Why would I not be?” He chuckles, but the sound is weak. Dee and Virgil both narrow their eyes at him. 

“Darling,” Dee never stops with the pet names even though him and Remus are just friends, a fact that Remus has to remind his twin, Roman, of constantly. Remus actually likes the names quite a bit, though he’d never admit it. “Don’t lie to us, alright? We’re here for you.” Virgil nods his agreement, and Remus swallows down the words that threaten to spill from his chapped lips. 

Words like; “I love you.”

Platonically, of course. Nothing else.

Words like; “I’m jealous.”

Of the fact that they have romantic partners, of course. Nothing else.

Words like; “I want to be with you.”

As friends, of course. Nothing else.

But Remus bites these words back and lifts his lips up in a crooked grin. “It’s nothing, really! Just wish I could suck someone’s face, is all.” He scoffs, and the sound is harsher than he’d expected it to be. “Not that anyone would ever kiss me.”

Virgil and Dee share a look. Remus wishes he understood what their glances mean, but each expression their faces form is a mystery to him. Finally, they turn back to face him. Virgil leans in just a little.

“Why do you say that?”

Remus shrugs and tries not to think about the fact that Virgil is very close to him right now. “I’m gross. And I’ve never kissed anyone, so I’d be really bad.”

There’s another pause where the boyfriends have yet another silent conversation. Remus rolls his eyes, used to his best friends’ behavior by now, and returns his attention to his phone. That is, until there’s a hand on his knee.

His eyes flick up once more to see Virgil’s tanned, calloused fingers wrapped around Remus’ left knee. Air catches in Remus’ chest and he has to force himself to breathe as he meets the surprisingly tender look in Virgil’s eyes.

“Rem?”

“What?”

“Would you, uh…” Virgil clears his throat, his chin dipping down so his face is hidden by his purple-dyed bangs. “Would you...want to kiss someone? Me, specifically?”

No way.

No fucking way.

“Sure.” The word is out of Remus’ mouth before he can even process what is happening. His friend, one of his best friends, just asked to be his first kiss. That’s it. That’s all this is; a friend-kiss. A practice-kiss. A homie-kiss. That’s it! They’re...homies. Just friends. Friends. And Remus is ok with that. Definitely.

So when Virgil lifts his wide palms to cradle Remus’ cheeks in his hands, there’s no thumping of Remus’ heart. When Virgil leans in, his breath ghosting Remus’ lips and his nose barely brushing Remus’, there’s no electricity in his veins. When Virgil closes that final gap, touching their lips together with the softest bit of pressure, when Remus’ eyes flutter closed and he melts into the warm and smoky scent that is Virgil, there’s no moment of almost-finality where Remus thinks he’s finally found what he’s been looking for. Not at all. 

His hands grip the front of Virgil’s hoodie and pull him closer until they’re emulating his and Dee’s position from before. Virgil presses a little harder, turning his head and deepening the kiss and drawing a small gasp from Remus’ mouth. With Remus’ lips barely parted, Virgil takes that moment to slowly flick his tongue along the edge of his bottom lip. Remus almost keens at that, the warm feeling of Virgil so close and yet so far. He pulls him closer, closer, closer...until Virgil is pulling away with the largest grin Remus has ever seen on the emo’s face.

They’re both panting, barely an inch away from each other. Remus doesn’t notice that he’s grinning just as widely as Virgil, if a bit more wild. Both of their attentions are caught by the third member of their party, who sits just a foot away with an amused grin on his face. 

“May I have a turn?” Dee drawls, eyebrow raised lazily but glimmering, mismatched brown-and-grey eyes giving away his true excitement. Remus nods, unable to form words. He closes his eyes in anticipation as Dee leans closer to him. Virgil’s hands are still cupping his cheeks, offering a bit of familiarity as Dee’s bigger hands flatten on Remus’ sides. He shudders, the feeling new and not at all unwelcome. 

New lips, thinner but not any less pleasant, meet Remus’ with a puff of cold breath. Dee kisses differently from Virgil, cold and smooth and lazy. Where Virgil was all warmth and softness, Dee is electrifying. Both are absolutely fucking perfect.

Remus kisses back as best he can, but Dee quickly shows him who’s taking control of the kiss. Dee trails a hand up Remus’ back, making him arch into the touch. Remus keeps one hand fisted in the fabric of Virgil’s hoodie and grips Dee’s sweater with the other. Remus is falling, losing himself in the icy wonderland of Dee’s lips when heat blossoms on the side of his neck. 

Remus gasps, his eyes flying open. Virgil - whose mouth had been the source of the heat on Remus’ neck - jerks back.

“Sorry, I should have asked first, I-”

Remus leans back from Dee long enough to rasp, “Don’t stop,” before returning to the satisfying cold of Dee's mouth. Virgil doesn’t hesitate, leaning back down to trail kisses from Remus’ shoulder up to his ear and back down again. Remus gives up on trying to wrestle control from Dee, instead just floating into the oxymoron of icy flame that he’s currently trapped within. He feels so warm and good and safe in this moment, kissing them. 

Even though he knows they’ll never feel the same, it’s nice to have that. Even though he knows this’ll just be a one time thing (then a two time thing, then a three, then a four, then-) Remus still falls in love with it, with them. Even though he knows they’re still just friends.

Friends who make out sometimes. That’s it.

Friends.

Remus doesn’t dare dream of more than that.

**Author's Note:**

> Leave feedback, cowards!! I love you all! <3
> 
> I have a Discord server! (Not the one this idea came from) https://discord.gg/zc3Kne6 Come hang out and talk about fics!


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